Day of Rest

My goodness its been awhile since I've done a real post! I have to say I've just been too tired. Work has kept me super busy since the New Year and I've had more nights than not where Richard has had to come to the office and literally pry me away from my desk. Heck, last Friday he had to drive me home because I was too tired to drive...we just left my car at the office all weekend and I didn't see it again until he dropped me off at work Monday morning. Considering that he's doing this after he gets off work, and that I went to work a good 4 hours before he did...well...I am sure you can work out the math for yourselves on that one. Loads of hours for multiple weeks = Bone. Weary. Tired. The kind of tired that leaves you numb at times, headachy a lot and a mega witch 24/7 long before the end. Richard has put up with a lot from me lately, and bless him he still loves me.

I was supposed to have a half-day off yesterday but I ended up staying until after hours again...this time only by an hour though. Richard was waiting for me to come home so he could take me out for dinner as we were celebrating Valentines Day a little late this year. Partially because I asked if we could because I had a bit of a breakdown when he stopped by on Tuesday to meet the delivery driver who was bringing my flowers. There's my Beloved, happily arranging flowers and I fall into pieces: I burst into tears and literally went into hysterics over how tired I was (last week was over 60 hours...I was so tired that I couldn't even sleep...which is never a good thing). Thankfully there weren't customers at that time as I admit I was yelling and cursing a blue streak and sobbing in-between, which was NOT a pretty picture. Richard walked over and held me and let me sob into his shoulder for a few minutes until I gathered myself back together. Poor guy has been so worried about me lately. He's interrupted his day of Geekdom to text me several times to be sure I am still doing okay.

So last night we went out and, even though I was still very tired we went to dinner and wandered a bit before heading home. Richard took me to Barnes and Noble where I picked up a couple new magazines and I let him geek out and buy some new dice and a bag for them at the local RPG shop that he likes to go to (honestly some of those dice are really pretty and he's already bought me two sets that I oohed and aahed over). In a side note...dinner was actually funny, because I had a buy-1-get-1 coupon for Mimis, so decided to give them another try rather than go to the retro diner we had considered. I ordered a fish and chips dinner that came with a couple of pieces of shrimp and was appalled when I tried the fish and realized that haddock is a nasty tasting piece of business. The waitress whisked it away and I was able to exchange it for a very wicked piece of Cheesecake Factory Red Velvet Cheesecake. So we were joking for the rest of the evening about my shrimp and cheesecake dinner. In all fairness, I'd really already filled up on the sampler plate of hummus, artichoke dip and zucchini spears anyway, so it wasn't a completely horrible meal...okay, yeah it was, but it still made us laugh. I don't feel like I've been laughing much lately, so it was nice to have something to joke about.

So today. Today has been wonderful. I sent Richard off to SLC early this morning for a gamers convention (Happy Valentines Baby!) and I have the house to myself. I spent the morning just surfing the net (mostly on Etsy :D) and then I cleaned up the kitchen and started dinner. I would have sworn I had a corned beef brisket in the freezer but it wasn't there, so we're having crockpot chicken and dumplings instead. I really need to go to the store, but decided that it will wait until tomorrow... its not like we're desperate for anything, and today is a day for me to not have to answer to anyone but myself. Actually, the only thing I really want right now from the store is a soda, but I know I am far better off drinking water right now. I was fueling myself with loads of sugar and caffeine and I am sure that helped with the meltdown. No, I think today will be much better spent at home. If I feel like doing a load of laundry and then reading a bit before doing another load, then that's what I am going to do. Actually, a load of darks just ended, so now I am off to start on the bedding!

I've had to keep reminding myself that I still have two more days off before I go back to work... my brain keeps wanting me to rush. rush. rush and get more things done now. now. now. I just shove it back into neutral and cruise along, straightening this, cleaning that, and then sitting down to look up some random question that popped into mind. As nice as it is to have the time today, I still am not fully synced into relaxing yet. I do have a few songs I want to download today (including the song below, thanks to Cassandra who posted in on her blog), and it would be nice to unpack some more fabric in the craft room/office today. I may watch a movie, I may not. Its kind of nice actually not having the tv on, and just keeping the house quiet.



So what's on the agenda for tomorrow? More of the same I'm sure... I'll finish up whatever doesn't get done today (like the vacuuming...Richard disassembled the vacuum to clean it and I can't figure out how to put it back again, so I'll have him fix it for me and I'll sweep up in the morning) I'll do some shopping (I want to get some almond paste because I have been craving Neapolitans for awhile now but no bakery around here seems to make them). Oops, just read the recipe and they will have to wait as I am not about to whip egg whites by hand! I will probably go to the library for a couple of things, and then just come home and bake and relax. Who knows. As far as I am concerned this weekend is all about getting myself back to a point where I am not flying off the handle over every little thing.

Man I hate feeling like I am a witch...

Spring and a young man's fancy...

Well, today I watched my co-worker practically reduced to Jell-O while waiting for his lunch date to arrive. Allow me to explain: he's been admiring one of our managers' sons so I made arrangements for the manager to bring her son down and we'd all go to lunch together for the appearance of the office (but it was really to get these two together). Funny to see that guys get just as nervous about this dating things as we girls! The poor guy was shaking and kept complaining about the butterflies in his stomach....all the while getting more noticably nervous the closer we got to lunchtime. I actually started feeling so sorry for him, but tried to tease and joke with him about it to get him to loosen up....I don't think it did much help though. The funny part is that he wasn't better after the lunch--it was worse because then he started worrying about what he should or shouldn't have done! (and I thought being a girl in a dating situation was bad!)

We decided that the guys should drive in one car and we girls in another, which apparently appealed to all parties and we'd meet at the restaurant. Well we girls didn't notice the guys sitting in the car so we walked into the place, got a table and ordered. About 5 minutes later we get a call on the cell phone asking just where were we! Anyway, the waitress shows them to a booth down from ours where they had privacy but we could hear their voices yammering away so we knew they both were at least talking so THAT was a good start. As a nice side note I had so much fun talking with this gal that I actually forgot that this was for the guys and I have made a wonderful friend in this woman!

Anyway, sweet as it was to see my poor co-worker find the courage to put so much of himself on the line (he keep his emotions buried down pretty deep) it worries me too that he may get hurt and what then? I hate that he feels he can't share who he is and how he feels with others and I don't want to see him get trampled and then not want to try again. But then that's life, isn't it? Every day we take chances and sometimes we get hurt and other times we make a connection. You can stay safe in your hidey hole refusing to allow anyone in but man is that ever a lonely condition (trust me, been there, done that, have the t-shirt!)

I really do hope that, if anything, they can have a friendship form from this but it makes me so angry to think of what people can do to eachother. The fact that this poor guy has been led to believe all his life that he can't show his feelings because friends and family have ridiculed him in the past--what's that line Keanu Reeves says in "Parenthood"? "You need a license to shoot a deer, heck even to catch a fish but any asshole can be a parent"....we all want to be treated with a little kindness and respect, but its funny how many of us don't bother learning that to get it you have to give it!

Still, I wish him the best of luck and have the net ready in case he falls..I know that pain is a part of life and it helps us to appreciate the good thing, but hopefully nothing like that will happen soon. We've both been invited to Layton for the weekend later this month and "help with renovations"...I guess only time will tell....man I hope this doesn't blow up in my face!