Got a song stuck in my head....

and it isn't Christmas music.

When I was a teen we had a satellite dish.....keep in mind that back in those days that owning a dish was a big thing (literally) in that it was a good 8' across! We couldn't get MTV, but we were able to tune in MuchMusic, which was the Canadian version of music videos 24/7. This turned out to not be a bad thing in that I was exposed to bands like Glass Tiger, The Pursuit of Happyness, Spoons, Breit Brothers (most of which you have probably never even heard of, except for Glass Tiger). I was also exposed to a band called The Northern Pikes who I soon grew to adore.....I still have all of their CDs, even the one that came out just a few years ago.

The Northern Pikes never really caught on south of the 49th parallel, but one song managed to snag a lot of airplay, and seemed to be requested a lot by guys with beer bellies who wanted to trash on their equally colorful ex-girlfriends. Still, its a silly, but rather catchy tune and the lyrics are absolutely hysterical. Not sure why I woke up this morning with it dancing in my head, but then my brain could have come up with a much worse song request, so I am not complaining.

Its called "She Ain't Pretty (She Just Looks That Way)"

In case you missed a few of the laughs, here's the lyrics:

I had two jobs, I had dishwater hands
And on the weekend in a rock & roll band
One Friday night in my hometown bar
In walked a girl who looked like a movie star
She stared at me and it was turning me on
She said she worked in a beauty salon
I heard a voice inside me say
She ain't pretty she just looks that way
We made a date to go for a drink
I wore my jeans and she wore a mink
There was this misconception all over town
That she ate lonely guy heart by the pound
She said "Take me home, there won't be no fuss"
I said "Sure you got some change for the bus"
Watching her leave I heard the bartender say
"She ain't pretty she just looks that way"
So, uh, I called her up, her father was home
Said "She's busy she can't come to the phone"
I held my breath, decided to wait
A guy like me doesn't get many dates
I fell in love with a model from hell
It took some time for my hormones to tell
That chasing her has been a grave mistake
She ain't pretty she just looks that way
Her ego wrote cheques incredibly fast
But her personality didn't have the cash
I laughed out loud to my total dismay
She ain't pretty she just looks that way
She ain't pretty she just looks that way
She ain't pretty
She ain't pretty
She ain't pretty
She ain't pretty she just looks that way

Just for fun, this is actually the first song I heard by TNP that made me fall in love with them. Its called "Hopes Go Astray" and it still makes me happy whenever I hear it for some reason.

Life, The Universe.....and Richard

I think the Fates are trying to tell me something.

When I first thought of moving to Utah a few years ago, the Fates tossed a Richard into my path. I wasn't interested so he went and found himself someone new, and I went on my merry little way...no harm, no foul.

Flash forward to two years ago and another dating opportunity arrives....named Richard. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but went on one date with him and the relationship went nowhere. Oh well.

Earlier this year my online dating network tossed yet another Richard into my path. Nice enough guy, but after a couple of emails and phone calls the words "Eternal" and "Companion" were being dropped into the conversation. Uh, thanks, but I am in no way desperate enough to jump back into the world of marriage based on just a couple of IM chats. I backed off for a month or so, but we are talking again now and taking it at a slower pace.

I'm still trucking on when I had another surprise this morning.....you guessed it, yet another Richard. Luckily, this one is easy to ignore seeing as my online dating service is trying to match me up with a man who is into participating in sports and wants a like-minded girl (which we all know is soooooooooooooo not me....and besides, this guy lives halfway across the country!)

Hmmmmm.....think the Universe might be trying to tell me something?

disclaimer: if you are a Richard who happens to be reading this post, my most humblest of apologies, I hold nothing against your name. I happen to actually like it....I'm just a bit dumbfounded why it keeps popping up in my life.

Tis the season for reminiscing

Let me tell you about an experience I had a long, long time ago...so long ago that I was still in the somewhat strange state of considering myself happily married, but I digress.

In order to tell this tale properly, lets go back a wee bit further:

When I was little pipsqueak, my mother would have us make homemade butter in a 1 gallon mason jar every Saturday morning. Whoever was sloshing the cream back and forth for that particular half-hour got to pick what cartoons we watched, then the jar was passed to the other sibling and it was their turn to choose and slosh the cream around.

Fast forward a few years ago to a grown-up me. I had an assignment in my college lit class to write about life in Medieval Europe and I decided to make some unleavened bread and homemade butter to share with the class.

I borrowed a gallon mason jar from a neighbor and sat in my living room for several hours just sloshing the cream back and forth. When I was done I called my mother because I wasn't sure what amount of salt to add to the mix. It was then that she asked what method did I use.

Method? I wondered. I explained I had sat there with the jar and sloshed until my arms about fell off.

There was a small silence before she quietly explained I could have made it in about 15 minutes using my blender!

My mother had decided that her kids were going to get at least some form of exercise instead of vegetating in front of the television! Hours and hours of wasted time just sloshing, sloshing, sloshing while my brain turned to mush!

Needless to say, I got an A on the report...and I garnered a skill that still is a conversation stopper in any conversation. "Hey, I know how to milk a cow and churn fresh butter by hand...wanna see?"

...oh yeah, you know you want to!