People wonder sometimes why I don't have more friends. Seriously, they do....I've been asked this to my face. I've never felt like really answering that question; honestly, how many people I am friends with is really no one's business but my own and my friends', right?
I hopped onto FaceBook yesterday onto my real account....the one that actually has friends, even if most of them are cousins I haven't seen in years and people I somewhat remember from high school (by having stated that I need to clarify that I have a "dummy" account that I use to play games on). I rarely sign into this actual account, and, in doing so, noticed several of my "friends" doing banter back and forth and a couple had sent me wall posts asking why I wasn't on more, etc etc.
I decided to start being a bit more social, sent out a few responses, left comments on a few posts.
It backfired big time.
Let me remind you gentle readers of my biggest flaw. I live with my foot perpetually crammed in my mouth....the trigger that most people have between their mouth and their brain just isn't wired the same over here. For me, what sounds lighthearted and teasing comes out absolutely abrasive sometimes.
I left a teasing comment on the account of a gal I used to love hanging out with when I lived in Spokane.....something I would have teased her about back in the day and I thought nothing of picking up right where we had left off. Something she would have teased right back about....I was thinking this would be a good opportunity to start a friendship again with her, especially now that she's halfway across the world in the Peace Corps, far from the people she knew.
The response in my inbox this morning left me in tears as she pointedly lashed out at how mean I was and how we hadn't spoken in years so why was I suddenly out of the blue being so cruel and mean-spirited. The point of her post being what an evil, hurtful, horrid person I was.
I immediately sent back an apology, explaining what I had really meant, but have no real hope that she will accept it...and goodness knows there is no way a friendship will ever flourish on those grounds again. They say there is no going back home, and I honestly believe that. Sometimes, what was in the past should just stay there.
So, downhearted, I remember why I am not this social butterfly that others seem to find so easy to pull off.
Anyone know how to get a better grip on not being me?
Later Post Update: I was totally forgiven! I don't have to have the horror of quietly finding out she removed me from her "friend" queue! Note to self: think before you type....you never know just how someone might take it.