Monday, July 20, 2009

Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye

These last few weeks have been up and down and everywhere in between.

Those who follow the posts of our family already know that Arlene, my "Other Mother" (as she prefered to be called...she hated being referred to as "Stepmom") finally lost her battle with cancer after a long struggle. I say lost but that's not entirely accurate. Mom decided to stop fighting, choosing instead to die quietly at home surrounded by family rather than in the hospital, fighting an infection she had picked up at her last chemo treatment and just couldn't shake.

I think many of us thought she would somehow manage to pull another rabbit out of her hat as she was given a 1-8 week sentence of death over a year-and-a-half ago and managed to fool the doctors and keep on going. She hung on long enough to see several of her children married and another grandchild born before she gave up the ghost.

As my stepbrother Wes says, she put up one hell of a fight.

Maybe its my upbringing. I know that I will see her again and it helps with the hurt. It doesn't stop me from missing her...but I feel so sorry for people who do not have the comfort of knowing that their loved ones are never really lost.

There is a song that I love that sums it up best. I tried to find it on YouTube but its only available with cheesy scenes from One Tree Hill and Days of Our Lives. That's what I get for quoting a song that's nearly a decade old. Here is a link to it anyway for those who are interested.

"Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye" by Beth Nielsen Chapman

Say goodnight not good-bye
You will never leave my heart behind
Like the path of a star
I'll be anywhere you are

In the spark that lies beneath the coals
In the secret place inside your soul
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye

Don't you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep

You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
I'll be right by your side
Say goodnight not good-bye

You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye

Say Goodnight....not goodbye


The Scotts said...

I am sorry about your mom. Thank you for sharing that song. It touches me so much right now. We just lost our best friend. You may have seen the story on the news. "St. George Man Drowns Saving His Two Children". Loss is hard. We have to live each day to the fullest. I love you.

mywest said...

I miss my sweet wife and at times feel hopeless and lost. I'm keeping busy at work and do things outside when I get home to fill the loneliness. I want to thank you for being here for me and helping out. I probably wasn't very good company but it was the best I could do. Thanks for the blog posting, I love you... Dad

Corine said...

Very cool - Thanks for sharing! :)
Love ya sis! :D