What is the appeal of hair dye anyway?

I spent like $10 and take a gamble everytime I decide I want a change, and you never know just what you are going to get. Honestly, the last time I tried red I looked like Ronald McDonald for a couple of days and then it faded into a hellishly freaky pink.

So why would I be stupid enough to try it again? Well, I have a thing for red hair...I want it. It doesn't look really all that good on me but I figure since I have red highlights naturally that at some point I am going to find the one shade that looks absolutely smashing on me. So I pick up the box, peruse the "this is what results you will get" images for brunette hair, chuck the box into the cart and found myself ten bucks poorer.

Get home, lather up the stuff, wait out the half an hour before rinsing and blowing dry. Shock. My hair is not really red but a faded, mousy, strawberry blond that makes me look completely washed out.

So now I am going to be out another ten bucks tonight buying a brunette dye to get me approximately back to my original shade, taking a risk again that not only will the new stuff be close to my old color, but will cover up this new dye as well without turning orange.

What a waste.

Mixed Signals....

See this? This is correct...the stop sign is facing forward and the controller is also motioning you to stop (okay, so he's yelling it but it has to do with today's story so please read on....)

On my way to pick up some supplies this morning before work and I come up to a construction site (not that I saw any construction, just two flagmen but that's not the point). The point is that as I approached my flagger had his "slow" sign to me so I slowed down. He waved his hand at me so I slowed down even more. He REAAAAAAALLY started waving his hand and I slowed down even more than the mosey the car was doing at the moment when finally he screamed "You need to F-ing STOP!"

Well I must say this caught me off guard and I stopped. Mind you he wasn't holding his hand up like I should stop but was making the motion the guy always does that says "move along, move along, nothing to see here" and his SLOW sign was staring me right in the face.

He stood there grumbling for a few moments, flashed me a couple of black looks, looked around PAST his sign before flipping it around to now read STOP. I waited. He finally looks at me again and yells "MOVE IT!" and angerly waves me through! Again, the sign facing me says STOP!

What a moron.

I should have pulled over and asked for his supervisor because that idiot is going to cause an accident. His buddy looked over and yelled something at him I couldn't catch after I was buzzing back down the road and I was too peeved to see if he was correcting his road sign.

Honestly, yelling at someone when YOU are in the wrong is hardly the way to rectify the situation. Given, he might not have noticed his sign was turned about but he did look past it a couple of times while I sat there waiting, you'd think SOMETHING would have registered.

Maybe he really was a moron, maybe his mind was elsewhere, maybe he was just in a bad mood but that doesn't fix the fact that I was treated like an idiot for doing what the sign said. As I said before, that situation is an accident in the making.

Sadly we have many mixed signals in life; some unintentional, some deliberate....most of them just as dangerous as that road worker today.

Someone else knows....

That terrible, horrible, evil, nasty, I-got-myself-into-it number. You know the one...that number that makes you shudder and cringe when you step onto your BATHROOM SCALE (cue Psycho theme).

Frankly, I don't have a bathroom scale and it wouldn't be accurate anyway seeing as how I am hefty enough to need an industrial scale to weight myself on (unless I want to keep popping into my doctor's office for daily weigh-ins....NOT). Luckily I have one at work that is willing to slap those numbers into my face anytime I choose to set it on the floor and hop on.

It is not for the faint-of-heart to allow someone else to know that terror-inducing, heart-palpitating, artery-clogging number but I trust the person who knows and we have decided we both need to have a plan. Not sure if they are going with my plan but today this girl has got to get serious about a food diary....I eat better when I know someone else is going to check in on what I have crammed down my gullet.

I need more fruits and veggies and have GOT to start cooking my own meals and packing up leftovers for lunches, etc rather than stop in at my local fast food dives and grabbing something "to go". Soda? Diet or otherwise I am have got to cut back drastically....if I don't watch it I can easily down a 6-pack of pop in an 8-hour period (can anyone say unhealthy???) Start slow by cutting out my sugar intake and introducing real foods to my over-processed diet.

I know I am in no shape for jogging or serious power walks right now but that doesn't mean exercise is out of the question....I just have to find the time and start slow. If I remain serious about it I will reward myself with a larger MP3 player so I can take more tunes along.

I will love and not punish myself. No pictures showing just how huge I am on the fridge (and trust me, I have a few of those unflattering shots that were taken quite recently--the ones that catch you off guard and leave you thinking, "that can't be me, there is no way I see that in the mirror every day!)

I can (on occasion) have a treat. That doesn't mean out comes that delicious carrot cake once a week (because frankly there are much better choices out there with a lot less calories that I would love just as much). I will also admit to realistic goals...I do not need to be a size 6 to be happy, and as long as I am healthy and able to do what I want, who cares what the end number is.

I am not a number.

And last but not least I will not be upset if I do not see overnight success; it took me 38 years to get to this weight and it will not just melt away in a few short months (though I would certainly rejoice at THAT miracle!)

So why do I post this? It is not for people to shake their heads if they see me snarfing something not on the "for your good" list or to make comments about if I really need to eat that item in my hand. Trust me guys, I am fat...odds are I know if something I am eating is not good for me. It is also not so people can come up and pointedly ask "how's that diet thing going?"

So why you ask? Because I want people to know this is something I am serious about.

I have a lifetime of bad habits to overcome and it won't be easy.

It's about time I decide that I am worth doing this for.

The Medical System....

really sucks for those of us without insurance.

Case in point. I have a mole on my back that suddenly changed, is raised, discolored and painful to boot (of course its right under my bra strap so of course its going to be sore). I finally screwed up the courage and took an hour off of work to see my doctor.

She looked at it, then looked at me and said, "Its not cancerous and no big thing. If you want it removed wait until you have insurance as its far too expensive otherwise".

No biopsy, no "come back in a month and we'll check it again"....just a glance and that was it. She then put a bandaid on it to see if it would help with the rubbing and pain.

C'mon.....a BANDAID???? I was just at home and could have had my mommy put a bandaid on it to make the boo-boo all better, and she would have done it for free!

So now....$100 poorer and a bandaid that is falling off that I can't reach to replace. (Not to mention a nasty scare when I got on the office scale but that's a horror story for another day).

No wonder people don't believe in the medical system anymore.

Shawna's Summer Movies Review #1

M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening".

3 words: Wait For Video.

Rated R for a reason (ex-cess-ive violence) the movie opens right up with death after death piling up (strangely, for all the death in this movie there's not much blood). Forget getting to know the characters (and my fave gal Zooey Deschanel practically slept walked through her role though Marky Mark gave it a good shot). Watch for Spencer Breslin in a small role towards the middle of the movie--he's the kid under all that curly curly hair.

The movie had so many people dying in so many horrific ways that you couldn't get past it to the mostly inarticulate storyline. The answer, when given at the end is so cheesy and so obviously political (don't want to give away anything) but Shyamalan isn't hesitant about stating his beliefs on this one. The cheese had audiences at my showing actually laughing at the end when it was obvious we were supposed to be shocked and awed and I am pretty sure we were expected to walk away being thoughtful and ponder our roles in life. The images were intensily graphic and, if you watch it, the bit with the tree seriously made me want to be sick....you'll know what part I am talking about when you get there. And did anyone else get a "lemmings diving into the sea" vibe during the opening sequence or was it just me?

Though it started off fairly strong it just couldn't keep the momentum going (and considering the movie is less than an hour-and-a-half that's not saying much). I would have to say I will not be getting this one when it comes out on video (who'd want to watch such pointless and graphic violence over and over anyway?).

I like Night's other work ("Signs" is just brilliant); its a shame that he really killed a chance to make a statement that would have stuck with people. I give it one out of four stars, and that's only because I agree with the politics of the picture, even if it was poorly done.

Flunkie

That's me....at least according to this new Japanese mandate which regulates the waistline of its citizens. Any man over a 33.5" waistline is considered obese and women only get a smidge more than that (try 34.6"). Measuring of the waistline is now considered routine in your examinations and you can be fined if you are over the mark...and this coming from a society without a weight problem. Can you imagine what would happen if this mandate was to be passed in America? We fatties would be marched off to weight loss concentration camps and forced to jog mile after mile on treadmills, going nowhere fast. Forget carrot cake...heck, forget carrots! The only way this girl would ever get that thin is if I lived on a strict diet of celery and water (with maybe the occasional dry rice cake for a treat).

And as far as fines go? I think I could pretty much guarantee that I'd never see a paycheck again!

Still here.....

barely. And still not fond of the "friendly skies". It was nothing SouthWest did wrong...in fact they were very friendly and managed to delay my flight home by 15 minutes (unintentionally) so I could catch it by the skin of my teeth.

I'd had no real scares on the flight to Spokane (an hour delay and mostly cloudy skies that we sailed over so there really was no view to deal with). My "seat buddies" both ways were very friendly and nice. I was just starting to think, "hey, I just might be getting the hang of this flying thing" when it hit. Turbulence. That lovely, rollercoaster of up and down and side to side. I was in the tail section (last row to be exact) and was fine for takeoff and most of the flight was nice....and then we came to Salt Lake and began descending along the mountain wall...

Lurch upwards. Shimmy sideways. Sudden drop. Thank goodness it'd been hours since I had eaten anything other than a couple of airline peanuts because if I'd had a full stomach I would have been miserable (as it is my motion sickness pill was working full time there!) It was like Space Mountain at Disneyland where you didn't know which way you were going to go next but, unlike the Disney ride, there was a mile long drop between me and the ground. Every movement downward was a few feet closer to me being safe on terra firma. The guy sitting next to me (Darrel? Darren?)kept saying funny things like "Whoo-Hoo! Ride 'em Cowboy" and "Let 'er Buck" with every lurch which was a funny distraction and prevented me from crushing the seat in front of me in a death grip. I was never so happy to feel wheels hit the tarmac.

And just think.....I get to do it all over again when I go to Alaska next summer.....

I'd better stock up on motion sickness pills.

scared to pieces....

tick......tick.......tick.......

the countdown to takeoff has begun. In less than 24 hours I will be lifted up into the wild blue yonder.

(gulp)

I wish I wasn't such a wuss.

Its not that I feel I am going to end up in the fiery engulfment of mid-air explosion or the total people jam of an airline crash....

Its the fact that for an hour and a half I will not be able to get out if I start feeling claustrophobic. I mean at least in a car I can pull over and get out if I start feeling enclosed...heck I get panic-y and its hard to breathe sometimes in the shower, let alone in a tin can soaring a mile off of the ground.

I just keep reminding myself that it wasn't so bad the last time I flew....I didn't like it and I was very uncomfortable but I didn't panic once during the flight. I know that with a little luck (and rational thinking) I can keep my cool and be okay for this short amount of time (heck, several Disney cartoons are longer than this flight!)

Wish me luck gang!

Shawna's Movie Must-See List for Summer.....

X-Files

The Mummy

The Happening

Journey to the Center of the Earth

The Dark Knight

Its gonna be a busy summer for me!

Teacher update....

Last night of class with this guy!!!! Turns out he went to Portland Oregon for some reason so he wasn't at school Monday...we had a very interesting sub named John who was from Nigeria. His accent wasn't always easy to follow but he told us about customs in his culture and in cultures he'd studied across Europe and really drew us into a discussion rather than listening to the typical lecture we get from the usual instructor.

Sadly though many of my classmates talked throughout the class with eachother and several left as soon as they figured out this guy wasn't taking roll call....they weren't even appologetic about it; they just got up and walked out or keep talking amonst themselves. One guy even had his headphones on and was rocking out while playing on the internet.

I have never been so ashamed to be amongst a specific group of people and I have to admit I paid even closer attention and participated in the discussions WAY more than I would have normally to make up for the lack of respect shown that night. I think they missed a lot because, once you got past the thick accent, this guy was actually very witty and had some wonderful stuff to share. I really was interested in this class for once (its a communication class).

The biggest bummer is that the instructor didn't leave our sub with the midterm (several of us had missed class that night) so I have to take both my midterm and my final tonight.

Oh thank heavens....

That this class is nearly over! I have now had this instructor for two classes and he goes on and on about how many different people have tried to kill him in his lifetime (starting when he was just a lad and is certain he saw someone disposing of a body to several political hits and a mafia hit), how he's helped the FBI in a sting, was a whistleblower against a major corporation (funny 'cause his name doesn't pop up when you read on the case). He's also an expert on all things (hmmmm.....I know a few peps like that!) honestly, bring up a subject and he insists its one of his specialities! The class goes onnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn with no end in sight and the only real education I am getting is from my textbook because class period is one big trip down memory lane that we've heard time and again. I'd honestly wonder about the education you receive here but my other instructors have been wonderful. Some people just aren't effective as teachers. Bummer because I know there are some amazing teachers out there and some mediocre ones....it just sucks when you have one who really isn't interested in teaching but rather in listening to the sound of his own voice