And the moral of the story is....

Don't ask the question if you really do not want to hear the answer.

What was the story you ask?

I am sure that we have all had moments in our lives where this moral would be quite appropriate without me adding mine to the mix.

Needless to say, the question was asked and the answer was given.

Oh what a feeling....

Paid off my car today....

Of course now that I no longer have a monthly car payment the money I am used to paying out will now go towards paying off other bills (such as tuition)...but I feel a real sense of accomplishment today.

I like it.

Friends Old and New

Weird weekend.

Met a friend of Jase's at Comedy Sportz last Friday and then again at a BBQ we had at his place on Sunday. We went for a walk after everyone else had left and then came back to Jase's just talking and talking. She is just the sweetest thing ever, incredibly funny and has such a wonderful outlook on life considering some of the crap she's dealt with in life. I look forward to running into her again because she is just so easy to talk to and so much freaking fun to be with! Sorry Jase but this one you have to share...

Stumbled onto a classmate website thursday that I added my name to for kicks. Almost immediately got an email from an old friend I went to school with a couple of billion years ago (okay, so its only been 21 years). We've exchanged emails a few times now and its funny how easily we are falling into our old friendship. We've both grown and changed in so many ways but he's still the same nice guy I knew from school who didn't care what others thought if he talked to the school's resident "fat girl". I have to admit I didn't expect to actually renew any old friendships but I find myself now wondering what happened to some of the other people I used to know....

Not a whole lot to say with this post....just an observation on the power of friendship and how we all need someone in our lives that we can both lean on and be a support for. The Shawna of the past would have probably shunned that notion...back in the days where I was so wary of letting people close because they were only going to hurt you in the end. I am happy to find that I am willing to take a chance on people. Not always, but a lot more than I used to. Does that mean there is some hope for me yet?

Still Miffed......

over that article; so miffed that I just wrote my opinion to Reuters feedback. I not only gave them a link to my blog but I also cut and pasted it in the body of my message to be sure they read it. I don't expect to hear anything back from it but I feel better having put my frustrated two-cents out there.

Seriously....maybe fat people really do help towards creating problems on a global sense but we are not the only ones out there eating and eating and eating....I have known people who make tons of stuff and leave it to rot because they never get around to eating it(is that not wasteful and bad?)and what about we Americans cheering and rooting for those stupid pie-eating and hotdog contests at fairs? I have NEVER eaten even one pie in a sitting or half a dozen hotdogs--let alone what they choke down in a matter of minutes. I do not frequent all-you-can-eat buffets and go hogwild (heck I can't even eat enough to justify the cost of going to a buffet).

I do not see that a generalized study pointing blame at a single group can be all that accurate. And as for it takes more gas to haul our massive porking butts around, I do not take long drives guzzling up gas just cruising places...heck I even moved so I am now only a mile from work to save on gas and my car is fairly economical. You can't state fat people are using unfair amounts of fossil fuels when you have people out there cruising around in freaking Hummers, limosines and private jets!

Okay....maybe I am a lot more steamed than I really thought. I just really really hate stereotyping. As if I didn't already know that being overweight is bad for my health now I have to have the internet screaming at me that we chunky monkeys are single-handedly killing the planet!

Watch out fatties...YOU are the cause of global warming!!!!

Just read a report on MSN that Reuters released stating that fat people contribute HEFTILY (pun intended) toward global warming in that you are fat, therefore you stuff your fat face all day long and will one day create a food shortage. Crap, I've heard this song before when a classmate wrote in my yearbook that my family was poor because of me. Why didn't I listen to him back then? I am SO SORRY world for not taking that to heart and really looking at how I affected society as a whole.

Really, lets clear a few things up here.....not all fatties are porkers...we just choose the wrong stuff to, well, stuff ourselves with. And if I am being truthful I should also admit I have not done a serious exercise workout since before I was married! Honestly, my skinny ex-hubby ate me under the table...he'd polish off his dinner and the rest of mine on a regular basis!

If the world wants to point the finger at overeaters in general as a contributor to global troubles then they should take a good hard look at the skinny chicks who binge and purge and the high metabolism power eaters rather than take the easy way out and say that fat people are eating us all out of house and home. Way bad Reuters....I thought better of you once....I thought you published REAL STUDIES based on fact, not bias.

Here's the link if anyone is interested.

Alliteration for the day....

Shawna finds wild, wet, windy weather absolutely wonderful!

....yes, I really do love the rain

What a nice evening....

Spent the last two hours shuffling and organizing my pictures and weeding out which were good enough to go on DeviantArt (yes, new pics are up again) and listening to the best music ever on my MP3 player.....oh the luxury of a huge shuffle of all of my favorite songs pumping through my headphones. Sadly even though I think I have the 4 GB player I need more room!

thoughts of home...

Well...more thoughts of food from home. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly excited to fly home and see the fam but I am seriously craving Hula Hut's blackened Ahi with wasabi and rice (can we say "Yum"?) Of course I have been craving that delicious item ever since I moved down here a year-and-a-half ago. Today a new crave entered the mix....sorry mom but we will have to make a stop at Huckleberry's so I can pick up that marinated basalmic onion and tomatoes with fresh goat cheese......mmmmmmmmmmm..... did I mention I was hungry?

For those who wonder why I just don't try making this stuff myself I submit that I HAVE...it just doesn't taste as good!

No Greater Feeling

Every now and again in life someone will remind us just how much we are loved and wanted.

You know who you are.

Thank you for caring...it meant more than you will ever probably know.

I love you too.

Aftermath

(Jase, skip the first paragraph if you'd like...the whole post isn't about the cat)

Yesterday was quite the day. Took the cat in to be neutered, shot full of boosters (ha ha) and microchipped. All I can say is he will never darken their door again. Maybe I just hit them on a bad day but I have never seen a more mis-managed company who managed to not only screw up more than once but were completely unprofessional to boot. Frankly I don't want to go into it because its not in the least bit funny (maybe in hindsight down the line) but I am extremely happy I didn't let them declaw Jasper, seeing how they handle their "patients". I realized yesterday anyway that it wasn't so much the claws that were the problem now that he's getting older, but its the teeth. He still bites and chews a lot but I think he will grow out of that abd now that the testosterone will be leaving his system he'll start calming down a bit.

It was a long long long day between work, having to deal with the vet's incompetence, and then Annie had already purchased us tickets to a 6:45 show that I was not about to miss. I just feel like I spent most of my day running non-stop so it was nice to finally get to the Scera Theater, sit down and relax. Surprisingly, the theater (at least for the 6:45 showing) was practically empty. We saw "Prince Caspian" and Annie says she liked it, considering she had no idea what was going to happen since she has never read the books.

As for me....I loved parts of it immensily, and other parts I wasn't so thrilled with. To extend the book into movie length we spend a lot of time with King Miras and learning about him and his people. Dull. I kept wanting us to get back to Caspian and the Narnians. On the whole I really liked the movie and will end up adding it to my dvd collection when it is released and I am really looking forward to "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" mostly because I loved that book so much..."Prince Caspian" is my least favorite of the Narnian Chronicles. Repicheep is absolutely darling (and yet so dashingly courageous at the same time). The fact that they let Eddie Izzard voice him was perfect....but then I love Eddie's wit....I just wish he wasn't always so blasphemous in his humor (in real life, not in the movie!) I keep telling myself one of these days I am going to splice together the best of Eddie on a CD and cut out some of the jokes (his Sean Connery version of Noah's Ark is hysterical!)

The first preview shown at the theater was for the next Mummy movie (Dragon Emperor) and while there is a new gal playing Evie (Maria Bello with dark hair...Rachel Weitz wasn't about to leave her young children long enough to stay in China making a movie--kuddos to her!) it still has Rick and Jonathan and looks to be filled with as much humor and COOLNESS as the first two. Once the crowd realized what it was being shown we all let out a cheer. Okay, so I was the first and then everyone else joined in, clapping and cheering...that's not the point...the point is I am not the only idiot out there excited about this!

Oh, and I bought Annie and I tickets to see "Indiana Jones" next Thursday....can't wait to see it!

To be or not to be.....

declawed that is. Jasper goes into the vet this morning and I still haven't completely made up my mind. I think he will come home with his claws intact, but if they can file the tips off of those fangs while he's knocked out for his "male de-enhancement" procedure it would make life with the cat a whole lot easier. I just can't see putting an animal through up to 2 weeks of pain for my convenience. Hmmmmmm...guess I made up my mind after all...for this moment anyway.

Out for a ride....

Went for a drive yesterday after work and wound up at that old barn I love in Hoggle Creek Canyon. This time the snows had melted and I was able to walk all around that lovely old building and took about a hundred shots from varying viewpoints. I have no idea why that old thing appeals to me so much but I love spending time out there. Luckily Jolley Ranch (no fam relation) is open to the public because I think I would definately go trespassing to go see it. For some reason it calms me...can't explain it, but its definately a place of quiet for me when my nerves get tight.

Decided to drive further up the canyon since the road was now open (for about another 6 miles, then its still closed because of snow). Made several stops along the way and not only drained 2 camera batteries but filled 2 memory cards--a 512 mb and the new 1 gb! Played with macros and I think I finally have the hang of getting what I want in focus rather than the backdrop. Took about a million shots, and a lot of them were good and some were amazing.

Spent time in nature (try 3 hours!) until it was nearly dark...enjoying the wind in the trees and watching the creek rush past. It was sheer heaven. I'm happy I went, and that I went alone. Its hard sometimes coming from the country where you don't have neighbors to go to where no matter where you go or what you do there's someone there. Lately the neighbors have been drinking late and they will be screaming obscenities outside my window at 2 and 3 in the morning. Its days like those I get the closest to really hating humanity and just dying for a few moments alone...for a few moments of peace. Just me and the wind and the trees.

I don't give myself enough moments like that. It seems there is always someone wanting a piece of me. Do you ever feel like there aren't any pieces left for yourself? That you feel guilty for being a hermit in your room one day because you need to be alone for awhile? I am a fairly low-key person and sometimes I feel starved for privacy down here. Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing friends here in Utah, but sometimes I find myself becoming extremely agitated at people. Maybe I am overly sensitive but sometimes people push too much, get too clingy and I find myself being overwhelmed and then angry. I wish I was strong enough to lay out boundaries but I don't like to hurt people. Its even worse when I make hints (or just come outright and say it) and I am not taken seriously. Like its a joke.

I am looking forward to going home for a few days...I know that I will be surrounded by family and that it will be a rushed and short visit, but I need a vacation right now. I know, I know, I went to Disneyland....but I wasn't alone. Hello, I went to DISNEYLAND...one of the most visited and crowded places you can go to. Not exactly a place where you can forget there is a rest of the world out there. I want to go home....even if it isn't the home I grew up in and even if it will only be for a few hours.

Strange blog...didn't say anything I'd planned to but oh well....maybe tomorrow I'll do better.

Opening yourself up to new experiences

For the observant among you kuddos if you noticed my new blog ties in with my new ID pic. Yes, I am soaking wet in the shot.

On my way home from school I drive alongside UVSC. Tonight as I passed the baseball field I noticed all of the sprinklers alongside the road spraying in full force. I thought wistfully again of running in the sprinkler when I was a child and told myself I would set the sprinkler up tomorrow after work and continued on my way.

Surprisingly though I pulled a U-turn and drove back to the sprinklers. Pulled over and walked down that long line of spray and mist and back again. Sheer heaven.

Of course some cars driving along slowed as they witnessed the crazy lady getting totally soaked (and I mean totally--my car seat will probably still be wet in the morning!) but who cares what they may or may not have thought about it. I was happy. For a brief span of time I was 5 again, running through sprinklers and loving the way the water would trickle down my cheeks.

Home now, dressed in warm flannel pjs and getting ready for bed but I am still smiling, happy that I pulled over.

Leaving on a jet plane

to see some family! I am so excited. Today I bought my ticket to Washington for Lucie's graduation. Okay, part of me is nervous (will I need a seatbelt extender? will I know when to board? will I forget anything? just how soon do I have to get there? where's that list of what I can and can't take?) after all, I haven't flown the friendly skies since I was married (pre 9/11) and that was a puddle jumper from Spokane to Seattle and back for a trade show that work sent me to. I am flying out friday the 6th and coming back the 8th but this way I will not only be rested up before work the next day (driving that distance would have been exhausting) but I will be able to spend more time with my sisters, aunts , uncles and parents before having to come home. As much as I love parts of the drive between here and there its kind of nice knowing that I can hop on a plane and (presto!) be hugged by my mom in about two hours. Of course its costing me more to fly but Jase is right....sometimes not spending all that time behind the wheel is worth the extra bucks.

Oh the temptation....

Does anyone else have moments of pure temptation that, as adults, perhaps are no longer seemly? Case in point....I was walking out to my car tonight on my way to school when I noticed that my roommate had set up the sprinkler and was watering the lawn. I stood there for a moment desperately wanting to put my messenger bag down and start running through the cool fountains of water before walking back to the house and bawling Annie out for putting such a temptation in the yard in the first place. She didn't even bother looking at me and asked "why don't you run through it then?" pause. Hmmmmm....because I had to leave for class and a wet shirt was DEFINATELY not on the agenda. Honestly, if she sets that sucker up tomorrow you can bet on where I'll be...that's right.....under the sprinkler.

Holy crap.....what were they thinking????

I had a scare recently and not a very nice one at that...what I mean is it was a real scare not one of those kinds where you giggle, slap someone and say "ooh, you scared me!" Welcome to the wonderful world of deviousness in the food industry....

I have a vice. C'mon now, we all have one....mine happens to be carrot cake. This coming from a girl who doesn't even like cake usually. Target's in-house food brand is Archer Farms and they make this absolutely fantabulous carrot cake that just happens to be sold by the slice in the bakery section. Now I have been known to eat a slice on occasion....usually its a splurge I take once every couple of weeks. No biggie, right? After all its made with freaking carrots so its got to be better than some of the other goodies I could be choosing from in the department (and I would love to know the story of how carrot cake came to be....what gal decided "hey I have a ton of carrots, lets grate some up in the batter and see what we get!") But I digress.

I was at the store about a month ago tucking a slice into my cart when my roommate walked up, picked up the package and calmly announced, "Do you want to know how many calories that thing contains?" I said no and kept walking. I was told anyway. I thought she was kidding but admit I didn't want the truth so I didn't bother checking the facts for myself, bought the thing and took it home. Didn't enjoy it quite as much.

Flash forward....two weeks I wasn't able to keep food down for a few days (never mind why). Once the affliction had passed I decided to splurge since I had missed a couple of days worth of calories anyway and trotted off to Target, bought my slice and came home. Sat down, fork in hand, and glanced at the food index. Holy crap..... one thin slice of carrot cake had 970 calories in it with 600 of them being fat calories. Whoa. Okay, I admit this thing had a lot of cream cheese frosting on it but 600 fat calories???? Its little label smugly announced that this met 100% of my fat for the day but I am sure that was a misprint....its probably really like 100% of my intake for the week. Now I am not into food labels and understanding that whole percentage thing but I do recall something like you don't want to eat anything that has more than 10% of its calories from fat.

Which leaves us with today; with my craving a slice of the cake that I can't have. Darn Target.

Don't you have days like this?

A funny little strip by a gal on DeviantArt who I watch. I laughed so hard over this because I swear I have days where I am so close to the edge....what would it take to make me jump? Something says it would take more than just cookies....unless they are snickerdoodles....I have a hard time resisting snickerdoodles.....