Friday, June 15, 2007

the one thing is life you can always count on...

well kids, that would be that things constantly change on you...there's no consistency to life...bummer! Mikey has definately decided he's leaving and will be moving to SLC BEFORE my birthday (SNIFF!) He'll be closer to Ronetta and Tyson and will proly be spending a lot of his spare time up there, especially seeing as how he and Tyson are now quasi-dating. There is a fourth wheel down here definately feeling left behind!

Last night I got so down about everything that I started bawling like a baby (its my stress reliever...I trudge along keeping it all inside and then I just break). I cried and cried..called my baby sister at midnight and talked with her for an hour and cried again (bless you Lucie for answering your phone and just listening to the ramble without giving me lots of generic advice!)

Woke up this morning with a nasty headache, tired eyeballs (why not I must have cried out a couple of oceans) only to find that I want to start weeping again. Still do, in fact. sigh. I hate change. I know that sometimes its for the better but I don't even like re-arranging furniture...I feel comfortable with things staying just the way they are. And before anyone reads too much into this no I was not simply crying because the guy that I now consider my best friend is leaving...yes that is a part of it but mostly its just because I am lonely and feel no one ever stays in my life. Silly me finally worked up the courage to ask Mike today if he saw us still being friends after he moves...happily I can say he said yes and then gave me a look that seemed to wonder just why I thought things were going to be any different.

I suppose I am just being overly dramatic but it still hurts to think that just when you think things are going wonderfully and that you finally have the rules of the game down that life throws you a curve and you have to learn how to play all over again. Does anyone else feel that way?

I have to admit that, while I may come to like whoever we hire to replace Mike, I know I won't have nearly as much fun in the office once he's gone. He's really what makes this job worth coming to. Funny though, my uncle offered me a job today...I am driving up to West Jordan tomorrow to talk with him about it but I just can't see him able to pay me enough to make it worth leaving this matter how frustrating this place can be. Plus, Dan says he can't offer insurance...which this job pays in full. Then there's the "paying-back-the-boss-who-was-nice-enough-to-fix-my-car" issue and if Mike's leaving I'd feel like shit leaving them at the same time. No, I think I'd be better off going back to school, get a degree and leaving then. If I start this fall I could be done in 18 months...that's not eternity.

I do worry that my employer will have me do both my job and Mike's for awhile...which I was enthusiastic to try until today. Mike had me do his mid-month "State of the Parks" reports for all 10 parks...oh man...after trying to get that mess to balance I don't think I wanna be an accountant anymore. You know, that graphic design degree is sounding better and better by the minute!

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